I Won't Say I'm In Love
by Brittsis
Summary: Morrigan isn't liking this new emotion that her Warden is awakening in her.  Morrigan/M!Cousland    I own nothing!


"_It's blasphemy! Everything you are goes against nature! I could deal with a mage, even an apostate, but you become monsters!" He cried, spittle flying through the air, coating anything that dare stand in front of him. His face was red with anger and his eyes burned with disgust. He was passionate in his beliefs; she was a monster, beneath him, and that knowledge broke something in her. Who'd have thought that the daughter of Flemeth was so fragile; so prone to breaking? Morrigan sure hadn't and she discovered it too late. She'd taken him to the Wilds and finally shown him the truth, changing from woman to bear. He appeared curious at first, but as realization struck him, rage contorted his features and ignited his eyes._

"_I let you into my house! Into my bed! You disgust me!" He screamed. Spitting on the ground, he turned and left her there._

_Morrigan sank to the ground as her legs refused to hold her. Her vision blurred and the world seemed to tilt on its axis; she felt shattered, broken. He'd thrown her away without a second glance like a loaf of stale bread. The agony took over and weakened her, allowing the sobs to take hold. Fingers grasped the earth as she held onto her soul. Pieces of her disintegrated, leaving a dark chasm where her heart once reigned. Love, it controlled her now and threatened to never release her. She didn't care for this pain and refused to allow it to take her over. Love was a foolish notion, one she didn't need. Morrigan rose slowly, fighting her body's reaction inch by inch. Eyes narrowed and teeth bore as she finally stood, winning the battle against the heartache. Never again, she swore; never again would she allow a man to affect her so._

_The oath gave her new energy, propelling her forward. Turning from the village, she ran through the swamp. She threw her head back as the laugh captured her soul. It echoed through the Wilds daring anything to challenge her flight. With a leap, woman became wolf. Each step solidified her resolve and cemented her oath. She was an independent and powerful being and refused to conform to anyone's ideals. This was her home and she'd never leave it again._

"_Mother!" Morrigan called as she approached the hut. There was a chance Flemeth wouldn't be there, but Morrigan suspected it wasn't true. Her mother had a knack for being where it mattered. Morrigan opened the door and, sure enough, found her mother in front of the fire stroking it coals. "I'm back Mother."_

_Flemeth grinned, "I see that child. Tired of the outside world?" She continued after a brief pause. "Why yes, I think you are."_

_Morrigan shifted on her feet, eyes canvassing the small hut. Nothing had changed since her escape several months before. This was her home, why'd she ever thought differently she didn't know. "I'm not leaving the Wilds again Mother."_

_Flemeth threw back her head and laughed knowledge in her eyes that both frightened and puzzled Morrigan._

_Morrigan caught herself watching the Warden once again and growled to herself. The memory was still clear and it shadowed her heart. The useless emotion had almost defeated her, turning a proud young woman into the heartless creature she was today. She wouldn't allow history to repeat itself, not today, not ever. Lust was fine, lust was safe, Morrigan would be happy with lust but this other feeling growing inside her wasn't welcome. She put her back to the rest of the camp and glared into her own fire. The light of the flame danced off the polished surface of her many bracelets, catching and holding her attention. Each one a gift from Edric, given with a sly smile and a wink. A slight smile teased the corner of her lips as she caressed the metals._

_With a disgusted groan, Morrigan tore the bracelets off and shoved them into her pack. But the thought remained in her head. He always seemed to have something for her when he returned to camp, a treasure found in the rubble or bought at the market. 'Because I was thinking of you,' he'd tell her with that grin that no words could erase. The smile returned and a laugh threatened to follow, even remembering brought joy to her cold heart. Morrigan lifted a hand and placed it on her heart, trying to still it's fast pace. Could this be true?_

'_NO!' Morrigan yelled in her mind and pushed off the ground. She resisted temptation to look at him and rushed into the woods that surrounded their camp. After a few paces, magic pulsed through the air and woman became panther. Senses came to life as she raced through the foliage, no destination in mind. The familiarity calmed her, bringing the only peace the witch could find. Running like this Morrigan could almost forget her worries, almost. They still buzzed in her head, not letting her forget the one she wished she never met._

_Growling, Morrigan shifted back into herself and placed her forehead against the cool bark of a tree. She refused to allow this emotion to continue. It was absurd to fall for the one man able to match her word for word. There were times that Morrigan could out wit him, causing the blush to crawl over his cheeks, and those times were all the sweeter. The grin returned and Morrigan didn't stop it. The warmth of a new love filled her. How could she deny herself the happiness he could and would give her?_

'_Because it never lasts,' her mind chastened her. They always left in the end once the lust wore off. She wasn't the type men wanted to settle with. That dream shattered long ago, she'd never try to go there again. Morrigan knew where her destiny was and accepted it. The Witch of the Wilds was a worthy enough title. It was safer to run the Wilds and tempt the Templars that trespassed there. Easier to forsake this feeling and continue to play the games she had as a child. Then why did the idea suddenly chill her? Why did she feel unsatisfied with the future she held just a few months ago?_

"_Morrigan?" The wind carried his voice to her. That alone brought the grin back, betraying her. Her gut twisted and turned as it settled in, she was falling for the Grey Warden. It would end now; she would listen to her head and break it off now before it was too late._

_When he found her, Edric crossed his arms and raised a brow. There was something on her mind; he could sense it from the moment she left camp. He'd debated upon following or leaving her alone as she disappeared from site. He rationalized his choice over concern for her safety, knowing full well that the witch could take care of herself. "What are you doing out here woman?"_

_Morrigan pushed away from the tree and took a few steps closer. "I wish to ask a question of you."_

_Edric nodded, "Go ahead."_

"_I wish to know your opinion of 'love',' she spoke bluntly, deciding to get it out now._

"_My opinion?" he asked, wondering just where she was going with this. Crossing the distance between them, he pulled her hand to his lips and caressed the knuckles lightly. That one touch set her skin ablaze and darkened her eyes with her need for him. A need she didn't expect to linger for so long._

"_I feel anxious when I look upon you. I dislike this sense of dependency. 'Tis a weakness I abhor. If this is 'love' I wish to ascertain in that you do not feel the same."_

_While she'd been talking, Edric had slowly corralled her back to the tree and surrounded her with his arms. He grinned at her as her words sank in. "Are you saying that you love me?" He chuckled softly and brushed his lips along her jaw._

"_No that's… not what I'm saying." His lips were distracting her, throwing her train of thought and resolve off course. "You need to pay attention Warden."_

"_I can multi-task Witch," Edric brushed her hair back with his fingers, enjoying the fire that burned in her eyes._

_Morrigan placed her palm against his chest and pressed until he took a step back, giving her room to think. "What I am saying is that I have been foolish. I have allowed myself to become…" Edric lifted her hand from his chest and kissed her palm softly, causing her eyes to narrow dangerously. "Too close. This is a weakness."_

"_Love is not a weakness. It's a gift that the Maker gave us to enjoy, to distract us from our troubles." Edric corrected her and leaned in to kiss her. She placed her finger on his lips and slipped under his arms._

_Dancing away from his reach, Morrigan growled, "You are not listening to me. Do not be such a fool!"_

_This time he laughed, "I am listening to you. You're trying to confess your love for me but can't get the words out. Repeat after me, 'I love you Edric.'"_

_Irritation filled her as lightening danced on her fingers. Maybe a jolt would jeer him enough to understand what she was saying. Morrigan lifted her hand and took aim. "This is for your own good. I would not…"_

_Edric proved his abilities in battle and quickly crossed the distance between them. One moment he was a few yards out, the next, his hand was on her wrist and lips against hers. He poured all the truth into that one kiss, every feeling he had since coming across her in the Wilds. Edric put his heart and soul into the kiss, urging her to do the same._

_She had no chance. Morrigan melted into his embrace, the spell falling from her fingers. Her free hand grabbed a fistful of hair and held on for dear life, afraid of where this would bring her. For a moment she forgot all the arguments. For that space in time all that mattered was him, nothing else._

_When their lips parted, Morrigan sighed. "I am not like other women Edric. I am not worthy of your distraction. And you… are not worth mine."_

_He let go of her wrist to cup both her cheeks. Edric placed his forehead against hers, "You are worth my distraction."_

"_I…" She fell then, love's victim. This time was different though. This time she was filled with warmth she never knew existed. "You are impossible." She'd keep her thoughts to herself for now. Maybe neither was ready for the words but they both understood. There was no need to voice that she fell for the Warden. _


End file.
